Bunjee-jumping Bagtag

While out strolling with his grandson Gramps lost track of where he was going and what he was supposed to be doing, again.  His task, of course, was to look after his grandson for the day.   Before he knew what was going on he was brought back to present day by a loud squeal of delight.  Gramps turned towards the sound and saw in front of him the worst thing since flared trousers first appeared some time in the last century: his grandson attached to a cable, preparing to jump off a bridge!

"Don't do it!" shouted Gramps.  But it was too late - the boy was in vertical motion before the last words had left his mouth.  "Oh my, oh my," was all Gramps could say.

"Buuunnnjeeeeeeee!" Was all his grandson could say for the rest of the week.

It's lucky that boy wasn't being collected for recycling after that crazy caper.

Zen or Phobic?

Bagit Before the Meltdown

Remember the new guy we found sitting alone amongst the books in the coffee shop the other day?  You'll never believe it.  After we poured a couple of shots of expresso for him and gave him a chocolate muffin he seemed a little wired and ready to talk. He was mumbling at first and hard to understand but the more I listened the more I was drawn in.  He seemed familiar, yet I was very sure I'd never seen him before.  I thought he had been meditating when we first met, but when he started talking about molecular meltdowns and thermal reconstruction I had to reconfigure my initial impression from that of zen master to perhaps a chemistry student drop-out.  In fact as it turned out, he had been reconfigured himself.  One could say he had been reconstituted, recoloured, reconstructed  - but certainly not fully recovered.  He was a nervous little fellow with very good reason to be.  This guy had been one of the most successful Castaway Characters of all, but now is almost down and out, nervous and not just a little strange.  You'd be strange too if you'd been treated as he has.  Yes, this is / was Bagit the author of Super-Hero Super-Villain! 



Bagit After the Meltdown

Bagit told us how one night while asleep in his office he was jumped from behind, had a bag pulled over his head and was dumped into a large bin.  Later people came and took him to a warehouse, tortured him until he couldn't remember who he was and he passed out.  When he woke up he was on a shelf in a shop, a different shape, a different colour, in fact a different being altogether.  Surprisingly, in that state he was able to break free from his wrapping and found his way here, where we found him lost and confused.  What an ordeal! I'm not surprised we haven't heard anything from him for a while.  He just looks so different!

I'd never thought about recycling being a particularly bad thing before, but from the Castaway Characters perspective being suddenly melted down, remoulded and reborn must be a particular cause for alarm.  After the meltdown that Bagit described, I think we must assume that he is suffering from Distressed Plastic Syndrome at the very least.  His agent told us that he'd had plastic surgery, but that kind of positive spin is what you'd expect from an agent, I suppose. Don't worry we'll take care of him, but don't expect too much from the new Bagit just yet.

Wrapped Up In Thought?

We found this new guy sitting alone among the books.  He seemed a little wrapped up in whatever he was doing and so peaceful that we didn't disturb him.  Nobody seems to know who he is though, so we are rather curious to know where he came from and what exactly he is doing in the Castaway Characters Cozy Corner of the local coffee shop.  It's not that this is an exclusive club with expensive membership fees, but it is a social hub for the Characters and so far we haven't got a squeak or a squawk from this stranger.  He looks friendly enough though, I suppose.  Perhaps he's just shy.  We'll give him some space for now and see if a cup of coffee and a chocolate muffin won't bring him out of his shell.

Plastic Surgery for Bagit?

Bagit's long absence from this site has finally been explained, at least partially. The poor little guy has been suffering from a personality disorder ever since he went under the knife.  Yes, Bagit had plastic surgery.  He felt it would boost his career, as if it really needed a boost - our secretaries all used to say that guy was so hot whenever he called them they had to put on their asbestos gloves to pick up the phone.  I hate to say it but our secretaries are all rather plastic model types, so it's not surprising they all shared the same view of Bagit.  Nobody has seen Bagit since the operation, so we're not sure whether we'd still recognize him if we did.  We hope to hear from him soon anyway, and wish him a speedy recovery.

Book-Loving Buzzbee

Buzzbee loves his books.  He's a big collector, especially of old books.  He says that his senses are stimulated more by the qualities of these objects from the past, than the sterile webpage on a computer or mobile phone screen:  the print is indented by the weight of the printing machinery used in the old days, the page edges of some are roughly cut, the page papers and binding textures are varied and add to the tactile experience, and so page-turning itself involves the senses more.  We see him below with a few of his old favourites.  Some might call Buzzbee a sentimental old stick-in-the-mud, but Castaway Characters feel a kind of brotherhood with objects threatened with extinction.  So, good on ya Buzzbee.  We get a buzz from your enthusiasm for all things old, beautiful, practical and stimulating.   

Although he is a lover of old books, Buzzbee also takes an interest in more modern publications, especially those that encourage people to live healthier, greener lives.  The Rough Guide to Green Living below, is full of interesting information for those of us who want to go down the path of Reducing, Reusing and Recycling.

Thanks for sharing your buzz, Buzzbee.

Bagit Goes AWOL

You may have been wondering, as we were, what has happened to the latest episode of Bagit's novel, 'Super-Hero Super-Villain'.  Bagit hasn't posted here for a while so we got in touch with his agent to make sure everything's ok with our superstar story-teller.  Unfortunately Bagit's agent doesn't seem to know where he is either. 'Bagit's gone AWOL' was the only comment we could squeeze out of him.  This is very disconcerting for anyone who knows Bagit.  He's normally a very positive, upbeat little guy, who likes to talk and share his life with those around him, so to disappear off the face of the Earth is, to say the least, unusual.  Should anyone out there know of Bagit's whereabouts, please get in touch with us.  We'll all sleep a little better knowing that the little guy's safe, at least.

Would You Pay The Ransom?

Two more celebrity victims of the Castaway Characters cable chaos find themselves bound and gagged, in what is turning out to be the work of a deranged serial kidnapper.  Police say that a ransom demand is expected: about $20 is the usual sum.